brandyns journal

Good morning Branny,  I miss you so much. I feel so weak without you near. Being without you is the most significant sacrifice I've ever made. My biggest goal is to figure out how to bring you closer, but I feel like our bond is being stretched further every day.  I think I've found a solid job that I can use as a stepping stone for a while. I plan on using this job to make away for us. I want to show you that taking a chance and following your heart is the best thing to do in life. I hope I'm validated. I love you, and I can't wait to hold you close again soon. I hope you're being strong; I am. Love Dad

I still have a love for everyone I've ever loved. There is a part of everyone I've ever loved that I miss. Just like I've taken a piece of everyone I've ever been close to and added them to myself, like a phrase, a gesture, a habit, a belief, and in some cases, a lesson. These parts are what I think about when I think back on past connections. I tend to let the negative pats go. I don't forget them and I try to avoid them when making bonds going forward, but I don't forget the good times. It's funny that everyone that I've ever come across has left a permanent mark on my life, and I truly never know when your memory will return; maybe I'll take a train ride today and see something that reminds me of a customer I meet while I was a carpet cleaner.  Just some random Thoughts

We are all people and we all make mistakes. I made some big mistakes and I hurt some people because I was hurting. For a long time I suffered from that. I feel like I did my time. I've corrected some character traits that was hurting others  I forgive myself. Who cares who else does!!!

 We are beginning a new year, and this year is going to be full of life. Life is about more life. For me, more life needs to be more about finding joy in life. Life is enjoyable, but I didn't always feel this way. Before, I felt like life was something that happened to me. Life rarely seemed to go my way. When it did, it felt like luck, and a majority of the time, I was unlucky. Only recently have I started understanding life and genuinely believing in its beauty and magic. As children, it easy to see why life is so wonderful. As we grow, we lose sight of what makes life so beautiful in every moment. We only cut out chunks of time to indulge in the beauty of life. We go to a movie, museum, or park now and again; Spending the rest of our time far too busy to enjoy anything thoroughly. Through our parents and peers, we learned the severity of life. We learned that there is a way we must live life. We are children until a particular age, we get older and playing becomes an activity fo...

Love for the mother of all

Phases( We all have them) Everything has them. It is sure that what is up, will inevitably come down. No matter the object or material. But phases are just circles. they go around and around. Up then down then around again. SIde to side back and forth. Forever just sea-sawing through the perception of space. From our current position, it is difficult to determine when a cycle has been completed, because we can't tell where it began. It may have never begun. Just expanding in all directions of time and space. The moon itself is a beautiful body. I once had a dream where it seemed to me that the matrix was falling. I was kind of like the world was crumbling around me. I can't remember how we got there but we eventually ended up at a portal on the moon. Everyone that I was with went through the portal, but I didn't go. At the time I had this dream I was very new to the ideas of the metaphysical. In fact, all I knew of the subject was what I was able to grasp from the code to t...